God Needs You




Thanks….but that was ancient history for me (not good memories). We live life with the good, bad, and the ugly. Hopefully, the good outweighs the bad. I’ve been lucky; so far the good has dominated but old age is a bitch. Lately, my brain and I are having frequent disagreements (kind of like putting stuff in your brain for safe-keeping but when it comes time to get it back the brain becomes really, really stingy). All this is getting really complicated because 11 days ago Agnes had a major stroke and was immediately helicoptered to St. Mary’s in Saginaw. She is being heavily sedated in order to give her brain time to heal. I’m taking today off from visiting the hospital. I’ve only managed two nights at home since the stroke. We won’t know how much is left of Agnes until she becomes conscious again. Worst case scenario is not pretty (I know she would prefer death over that and so would I). Immediate family only is allowed in to see her. Mathew was here for her two operations, Mika for her second, but both had to return to work. As for the dogs, the last one died about a week before Agnes had the stroke. Mika took the bird back with her, so it’s only me and fish now–and a good thing too! Count your blessings because the race between the good and evil never stops.

Take care,

Your old buddy,
Deadwood Dave

Here’s an afterthought to the personal tragedy above, it occurred to me (11-2-12) after I confessed to a friend over the telephone that I do not believe there is life after death. According to my philosophy (yes, it’s still telling me new stuff after all these years) when we die—we’re dead, nothing new there, I know! However, all the pain, suffering, heartache, and regrets….right along with the joys, happiness, love, and the rest of the “good stuff” that makes life worth living, lives on in God. All the events of one’s personal history (in past tense one’s life lived) was/is to God the same as it was/is to a living human being—we are nothing without a history and our history is preserved in God. Another way of saying this is that God and time expand together. But, at the level of humanity—just as our thoughts, words and deeds expand the significance of our human lives, so to do human thoughts, words, and deeds expand the significance of God. To quote Martin Buber, “That you need God more than anything, you know at all times in your heart. But don’t you know also that God needs you–in the fullness of his eternity, you? How would man exist if God did not need him, and how would you exist? You need God in order to be, and God needs you for that which is the meaning of your life.”

Well, that’s about it, except to say that, as my philosophy indicates, there is a right and wrong when it comes to appropriate thoughts, words, and deeds.

Here’s another quote from one of my blogs:  “God’s logical consistency is connected necessarily to the evolution of everything that we know about the universe, i.e., connected necessarily to all the possibilities of human behavior EXCEPT the behaviors that contradict God’s self-consistency, e.g., behavior that takes life unnecessarily, behavior that causes unnecessary suffering, behavior that does harm to the environment–harm to that which preserves and perpetuates freedom, life, love, and reverence for the God that makes “all possible”.


About bwinwnbwi

About me: Marvin Gaye’s song, "What’s Going On" was playing on the jukebox when I went up to the counter and bought another cup of coffee. When I got back, the painting on the wall next to where I was sitting jumped out at me, the same way it had done many times before. On it was written a diatribe on creativity. It was the quote at the bottom, though, that brought me back to this seat time after time. The quote had to do with infinity; it went something like this: Think of yourself as being in that place where infinity comes together in a point; where the infinite past and the infinite future meet, where you are at right now. The quote was attributed to Hermann Hesse, but I didn’t remember reading it in any of the books that I had read by him, so I went out and bought Hesse’s last novel, Magister Ludi. I haven’t found the quote yet, but I haven't tired of looking for it either.
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7 Responses to God Needs You

  1. Dave, I have often wondered how you were, and you and Agnes will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please message me and let me know how you are doing.

  2. Have missed your quotes and posts and happy when this one came . Worried all was not well. Aging is a bitchy, bitch and a bit of a bastard also. It has helped me to have blogging friends so thank you for being.

    I try to believe we the people have enough ingenuity that we can beat the coming heat. But each day that hope erodes. I have no regrets for my life, but your post struck a knife in my heart for my three grandsons. Keep wrIting though, the more who speak out, the better.

  3. bwinwnbwi says:

    Thank you both (others as well) for supporting this blog over the past year or so. It’s been good, very good! I’m presently caught up in the whirlwind of old age but, for me, being a survivor of the generation that “swore they would be dead by 30,” I feel damn lucky! I’ve learned a lot over the years and I’ve left much of it on these two WordPress blogs. I especially like “God Needs You”. It’s probably my last post (but then again maybe not); anyway, from my perspective, “God Needs You” is a great way to sum it all up. Thanks all. Take care!

  4. boozilla says:

    Happy to see your post, so sorry to see the news. Am sending you peaceful and healing thoughts, anyway. I figured I’d be dead before I was 30, too! and it continues to be dicey, but. God does indeed need us, which is important to remember. Take care!

  5. lara harlow-hentz says:

    I am writing a piece for a new anthology about FOUR SOULS and in that I describe we do have a soul that continues on past this experience. In our traditions, we can return if we choose.
    I wish you good thoughts during this difficult time.
    Will be thinking of you…

  6. eof737 says:

    Dear Dave,
    I had no idea about this sad news as I thought you had stopped blogging much earlier… My prayers go out to Agnes and you… I hope she is recovering from the stroke.. I’m thinking about you and sending love to you and Agnes.

    • bwinwnbwi says:

      Thanks for the hugs and love. I’ve put them to good use. Agnes died 12-15-12. I’m going through that natural (but difficult) process of grieving. In my head I hear an old song lyric: “I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert .You’re living for nothing now, I hope you’re keeping some kind of record.”

      I’m done with keeping records (this blog is record enough for me)–however, “all the pain, suffering, heartache, and regrets….right along with the joys, happiness, love, and the rest of the ‘good stuff’ that makes life worth living, lives on in God. All the events of one’s personal history (in past tense one’s life lived) was/is to God the same as it was/is to a living human being—we are nothing without a history and our history is preserved in God”. I am not alone. Thanks again for the hugs and love.

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