Kabbalah Conversation

Nova Scotia Campground
Aug. 4 `82

Michelle and I have been together now for six days. Over the last five
days we have become, more or less, familiar with each others
situation. She comes from an upper class family and, as far as I can
tell, this bicycle trip and her behavior in general, represent a
revolt against the values she grew up with. She is definitely the type
of person I would be inclined to take a romantic risk with; however,
that scenario is highly improbable since she has vigilantly protected
her space right from the start. In fact, she has pulled it off so well
that I am now wondering if I have discovered a flaw in her otherwise
lovely personality. This observation may not be warranted, but
speaking from personal experience and preference, whenever I engage in
a relationship with another person, the moment a “value” is
exchanged/shared in common, emotional warmth is also exchanged. After
spending five days of joy and happiness with Michelle, it just seems
to me that some of that warmth could have been exchanged between the
two of us without compromising her responsibility and loyalty to her
boyfriend. Perhaps it is not possible for her to share that kind of
warmth. That said, however, I am grateful for one exchange that took
place just a couple nights ago, and for that I have Michelle’s
absentee boyfriend to thank.

Early in the evening, while sitting at a picnic table, we were
enjoying our after dinner coffee, when Michelle began to voice her
concerns about getting married to her Jewish boyfriend. In order to
marry him, she had to convert to Judaism. The marriage date had not
yet been set, but she figured it would take place as soon as she
completed her classes in Judaism. I listened with a sympathetic ear,
but not to sympathetic because I couldn’t help but think (I guess I
wanted to think) that marrying into the Jewish religion was just
another form of Michelle’s rebellion. What really interested me,
though, was the conflicting religious values that, apparently, she and
her boyfriend were struggling with. Her boyfriend’s religious
convictions, it seemed to me, were moving him (not her) away from
Jewish orthodoxy towards a more liberal interpretation of Jewish
religion. Actually, finding out that Michelle was going through some
uncertainty concerning her boyfriend surprised me, and, reciprocally,
she was shocked to find out that I thought she was perfectly okay with
her decision to marry into the Jewish faith.

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About bwinwnbwi

About me: Marvin Gaye’s song, "What’s Going On" was playing on the jukebox when I went up to the counter and bought another cup of coffee. When I got back, the painting on the wall next to where I was sitting jumped out at me, the same way it had done many times before. On it was written a diatribe on creativity. It was the quote at the bottom, though, that brought me back to this seat time after time. The quote had to do with infinity; it went something like this: Think of yourself as being in that place where infinity comes together in a point; where the infinite past and the infinite future meet, where you are at right now. The quote was attributed to Hermann Hesse, but I didn’t remember reading it in any of the books that I had read by him, so I went out and bought Hesse’s last novel, Magister Ludi. I haven’t found the quote yet, but I haven't tired of looking for it either.
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