God Depends On Me For Autonomy While I Depend On God For Being-Here-Now

Start Of Bicycle Trip Of Quebec, Gaspe Peninsula, New Brunswick,
Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, Cape Breton Island, Back To

June 23, 1982

Hello journal! Here we are again, together. This time we are returning
to the Canadian Maritime Provinces to complete my aborted 1977 bicycle
trip, and we’ve been on the road for a couple of days already. We
spent last night at Mike and Val’s place in Hemlock and now we’re
holding up about sixty miles east of Port Huron, in this old abandoned
schoolhouse. We could be farther down the highway, but we’re playing
it smart. I am not going to repeat my last bicycle trip where my knees
gave out because I was too eager. A little conditioning in the
beginning will get me farther, even if it’s slow going. Since this is
really not the beginning, without further ado, let’s start over.

May 28, 1982

The purpose of this pre-mature journal entry is to fill in some of
the space between my last journal and this one. After my last road
trip, I was overcome with a need to get down on paper some thoughts I
had been entertaining. I wanted to write about the growth I had
experienced over the last twelve years, so I started to write a play.
The play however was postponed when it turned into a couple of other
writing projects instead. Now, three papers on freedom wiser, and two
years older, I feel closer to God than ever before.

Most of my conclusions, however, are found in my third paper. In
essence, God depends on me, and the rest of existence, for autonomy
while I, and the rest of existence, depend on God for our creation. And
further, God becomes self-conscious in the human being; therefore,
humans represent the freest expression of God’s autonomy. My capacity
to discriminate is an explicit form of God’s freedom. On this bicycle
trip I will let these newly acquired insights, along with the sights,
sounds, smells, and textures of my road trip, sink deep into my psyche.


About bwinwnbwi

About me: Marvin Gaye’s song, "What’s Going On" was playing on the jukebox when I went up to the counter and bought another cup of coffee. When I got back, the painting on the wall next to where I was sitting jumped out at me, the same way it had done many times before. On it was written a diatribe on creativity. It was the quote at the bottom, though, that brought me back to this seat time after time. The quote had to do with infinity; it went something like this: Think of yourself as being in that place where infinity comes together in a point; where the infinite past and the infinite future meet, where you are at right now. The quote was attributed to Hermann Hesse, but I didn’t remember reading it in any of the books that I had read by him, so I went out and bought Hesse’s last novel, Magister Ludi. I haven’t found the quote yet, but I haven't tired of looking for it either.
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One Response to God Depends On Me For Autonomy While I Depend On God For Being-Here-Now

  1. bwinwnbwi says:

    Here’s a Martin Buber quote that pretty much sums it all up: “That you need God more than anything, you know at all times in your heart. But don’t you know also that God needs you–in the fullness of his eternity, you? How would man exist if God did not need him, and how would you exist? You need God in order to be, and God needs you for that which is the meaning of your life.”

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