What’s The Use Of A Book Without Pictures Or Conversations?

Voice In My Head Again
Dank Hotel Room
Dec. ’75

“Cry, cry, cry, “whispered a very small voice in my head. Instantly I
knew it had to be MV. He was back. I rolled over in my bed and faced
the wall. “What the hell do you want?” I said.

“Nothing much. I just thought I’d drop in,” MV replied. “We haven’t
talked in quite awhile. Did you miss me?”

“No,” I said. “But since you’re here, do something. I’m sick. I need
this sickness to go away!”

“No magic here,” said MV, “I can see you’re hurting, though. I wish I
could help! Words help sometimes, but sometimes too, they just get in
the way.”

“What! The all-wise MV has nothing to say. Isn’t that a contradiction?”

“Not fair,” replied MV, “you’re the one who should be doing the
talking. You’re the one suffering, and, if you haven’t already
noticed, it’s you’re life that’s a bit joyless right now.”

“Oh yeah! Whatever happened to all that talk about being in this
together,” I said. “‘We’re a team,’ I believe you said. Didn’t you
once tell me that I could count on you! Well, do something!”

“True, we do go back a ways,” MV replied, “it’s just that your
affliction is not something that can be fixed easily. Believe me, I
would gladly help if I could.”

“Wow! Isn’t that sweet,” I said. “Remember when you told me that my
life would turn around with your help. You said I would discover
meaning, joy, and purpose. How absurd! Through you, I have discovered
absolutely nothing, but in spite of you, I have found everything. The
problem, unfortunately, is that, like the wind, it’s all gone.”

“That’s about right,” responded MV. “Love is fickle, but it’s not as
fickle as some people. If love were as quick to depart as some
beloveds–swish–your pain would be gone by now. Unfortunately, in a
love unrequited, agonizing pain cannot be bought off. It’s a dirty
business this thing called love. But, given time, all things pass.”

“But I really do love her,” I replied. “I spent my entire
life searching for this. I can’t live without her! The pain is too
unbearable.”

“Love’s cares and concerns linger,” said MV, “but you will survive.
You may even love again. It’s not impossible you know!”

“There’s no heart left in me,” I replied. “Without love I have no
reason to go on. Love gave me life, made me whole. Living is
impossible without her. I would sooner die than carry on. Without
love, I am nothing at all.”

“Lets not overreact,” responded MV. “After all, she’s not the last of
her kind. Be patient. Do I have to remind you that you almost `bought
the farm’ entertaining those same kinds of thoughts once before. Dying
for love is so stupid! There’s good medicine for that kind of thing
you know. Why don’t you check it out?”

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About bwinwnbwi

About me: Marvin Gaye’s song, "What’s Going On" was playing on the jukebox when I went up to the counter and bought another cup of coffee. When I got back, the painting on the wall next to where I was sitting jumped out at me, the same way it had done many times before. On it was written a diatribe on creativity. It was the quote at the bottom, though, that brought me back to this seat time after time. The quote had to do with infinity; it went something like this: Think of yourself as being in that place where infinity comes together in a point; where the infinite past and the infinite future meet, where you are at right now. The quote was attributed to Hermann Hesse, but I didn’t remember reading it in any of the books that I had read by him, so I went out and bought Hesse’s last novel, Magister Ludi. I haven’t found the quote yet, but I haven't tired of looking for it either.
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One Response to What’s The Use Of A Book Without Pictures Or Conversations?

  1. Mèo Lười Việt says:

    Given time, all things pass.

    I think so too. Find st you really love, a real cause, then put all your energy in it… 🙂

    Sometimes love is a good initiation.

    Maybe she can’t be your lover, but she can be your comrade. 🙂

    Sounds too bolshevik?! 😀

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